Swim or Stay, a song I made

Swim or Stay Lyrics from my album "Without A Label"

Swim or Stay Lyrics from my album "Without A Label"

My internet is down, sorry for the lack of updates. I’m at a friends house using the internet and was talking about my album I made a long time ago back when I was going through spurts of homelessness. Yep, I made an album in between spurts of homelessness, lol. The lyrics are pretty powerful and you can really see where I was at the time. It’s an interesting look. This one’s called “Swim or Stay”.
Swim or Stay  

It’s too dark and cold for me to see any light
Of course Maybe It would help if I opened my eyes
I’m blind I don’t know why I’m barely even sane
My eyes are swelled shut from all the pain

You know I’d force them open but I’m too confused
I’d love to open up inside – but it’s hard to do
Why do I do these things that make me hurt
Why do I make more pain then I deserve

I really wanna win yes I know that I do
But to make it all the way kinda scares me too
I wish I could succeed for once in my life
But these internal battles are so hard to fight

It was like a dream- I was stuck in the sea-
Trapped on a rock but at least it was safety
So all day,- I would stare and think-
There must be a life that’s meant for me-
I’m getting nervous- I start to pace all day-
I really really need everything to change-
Even if I lose- the few things I have-
I don’t want a life all about my past-
That’s when it changed- is it really a dream-
I open up my eyes to the sky and scream
My whole life i was afraid- to choose my fate-
But Today I decide Do I Swim or Stay
Some people say to Seize the day
What a beautiful thought, to not be afraid
To decide who you are and what you wanna do
Instead of roaming this earth without any clue

It’s like a joke sometimes is how i feel
Like there’s somebody laughing whenever i can’t deal
With the pressure the pain, or the need to escape
The desire to climb but the mountainside breaks away

And every time I grasp for a chance to move up
I slide right down and have to start back up
To get where I am took me too damn long
I know what to do but can I be that strong?

So here I stand where theres no looking back
I gotta figure out what I want and choose a path
Butterfly’s start to form my stomach’s a knot
Could a fool like me make it to the top?

It’s crazy I know for me even to try
But I feel you out there the few that might
believe in me and what I’m trying to change
That theres people out there that want the same

To finally be free and not fear mistakes
To be who I am, no matter what it takes
If I do this, I could fuck it all up
But I gotta start believing being me is enough

As I stare at the water I feel so alone
Waiting in fear as I watch the time go
It’s gotten to the point either way is okay
But I’ve got to decide which way today

That’s when it changed- is it really a dream?
I open up my eyes to the sky and scream
My whole life i was afraid- to choose my fate
But today is the day that I Swim or Stay

Then at the end, you hear a little “splash” signifying that I go for it. Which, in spite of everything in my way, I did make the album and sold to people that originally laughed at me when I said I would make an album. Sure, the music sounds like a guy singing into a tin can. Regardless of the flaws it’s a testament to perseverance. The lyrics are raw and honest and allow the listener to share the pain, journey, and triumph. There’s quite a few people that listen to it even today, years later.

Check it out for yourself: http://www.cdbaby.com/cd/mnightsun

copyright 2005 Kephra Rubin

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About Kephra Rubin

I am slightly dyslexic and have a difficulty with writing. It's because of this that I try to write as much as I can. Lately my writing has improved quite a bit and it's thanks to everyone who reads and posts on my blog. Sometimes it is difficult for me to post as regularly as others do since everything requires a lot of rewrites. Subscribe to my blog so you always know when I've got something new up. Thanks in advance.
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