Avengers: Infinity War Movie Review: SPOILERS!!!
Use the time stone to trap Thanos in a time loop for all eternity… movie’s 20 minutes long, all loose ends tied.
I mean the time stone is like the wood chipper of the marvel universe. How do you take care of (insert villain here)? Trap them in a time loop for all eternity.
Why is the red skull in charge of anything? Who put him in charge? Does the soul stone talk? Does it knight people?
Open the force-field… and let thousands die… so that millions can die? No… they would have totally just killed vision. You called Cap… and it took him that long to think that maybe wakanda could figure something out sooner? Ya killed vision, cap, you killed vision… smh.
Why not just let what’s-his-face keep punching Thanos while you continue to remove the gauntlet? The bug lady was able to hold on while Thanos was a bucking bronco, he wasn’t even hitting her hands. That was ridiculous.
Iron Man… you let go of the gauntlet that was almost off his hand… to stop Star Lord of the Dance from mussing up purple guy’s sack-chin creases… instead of helping Spiderman pull the glove off the rest of the way? Or blocking thanos when he tried to grab the gauntlet after losing it… why? So you could hug star lord? Where are your priorities man?
So… Dr. Strange looks out and sees all the possibilities… and trapping Thanos in a time loop… which considering Thanos still needs to wage ground wars and stuff means he’s not as powerful as the big blob of something from some marvel movie where a big thing does something and got stuck in a time loop totally worked… because why? He’s got the gem from Jem’s truly outrageous wrist communicator in his Michael Jackson glove? He can create illusions? Jem didn’t even make any sense and that show made more sense than not using the time loop.
Don’t worry, though, it’ll all make sense in part two… when we… what? Pull a Wizard of Oz and just zing everything back to before it all happened… or cast new actors in the same roles like they did with Star Trek and just pretend like a time ripple would have everything happen roughly the same way with completely different people that evolution somehow gave the same personalities they had before… like what are we doing?
I mean… I understand basically any story can be picked apart, and you have to suspend some disbelief in order to really immerse yourself… there’s a lot of zombie movies i love and zombies don’t even make any sense… I get it… but how suspended do I have to be? It’s one thing to say, okay, assuming zombies could be real… tell me a story. It’s another thing to just create a hokey mess with lots of special effects to distract from poor decision making.
I can accept that Thanos, a guy who can transport millions of soldiers to commit 50% genocide, wouldn’t just use those transportation capabilities to… transport people to other planets instead of slaughtering them… but I have to suspend too much in order to watch this story.
Yeah the action was cool, the funny parts were funny, they did a good job handling lots of characters without it feeling as chaotic as other marvel movies… but nobody noticed these things?
Chances are lots of people, probably not in positions of power, noticed and they all got ignored and that… I can’t suspend anything for.
It wasn’t all bad, Spider Man was good, even Thanos, in terms of his struggle and commitment to his task was great.
I try to be fair with movie reviews and I take reviewers average opinion, the rating on IMDB, people I listen to in theaters etc. into account and will weigh that against my personal feelings to try and use my reviews as a tool to predict at what likeliness you’ll enjoy the movie. With that in mind, I think most people will love the movie.
So I guess really it gets a “pretty damn good”* rating and not a “sucked” rating… but personally I think it sucked.
After being fair through I don’t know how many movies revolved around “heroes” creating the very problems they solve, fighting a swarm of something and facing off against villains that are some kind of dark reflection of themselves… I guess I just needed to blow off a little steam… because… ya know… avengers infinity war is a movie where a bunch of heroes have to deal with ten years of things they did which brought Thanos to their doorstep… a man who is a dark reflection of their obsessive need to save the universe… who has an army that is really just a swarm of something…
But yeah… “pretty damn good”
Edit: *Rating: Pretty Damn Good
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